Do you despair when you look in a mirror. Chances are that you have a poor body image. The good news is that you are not alone. In a study reported in Psychology Today, they found that 56% of woman and 40% of men were dissatisfied with their overall appearance. The desire to lose weight is highly correlated with poor body image.

While there's nothing wrong with us caring about our bodies, obsession with how we look has become far too important. Think about it – what is that “ideal” image? 'Thin', 'flawless', 'perfect'?

We constantly compare ourselves with what we see in the media. Is it the truth – is it real?

No, on a conscious level we know that as little as 10% of the world population can look like that (size zero models… get real), but unconsciously we still compare and find ourselves lacking.

Our extreme preoccupation with fatness leads to extreme attempts to control body weight. We use fad diets, pills, quick fix disasters. Dietician Melissa from Pretoria says that: “The sad result of these quick fix disasters lead to actual physiological problems (e.g. unstable insulin and slow metabolism) leading to unhealthy and sick bodies!"

The American Journal of Psychiatry reports that “body dissatisfaction and the desire to lose weight are still the norm for up to 70% of woman”. Our image of our body plays a major role in how we feel, what we do, who we have relationships with and even the career we choose. Eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia and abuse of laxatives) are often linked to poor body image.

A worrying trend shows that girls as young as nine and 10 have poor body image. In a study done by the University of Minnesota (USA), they found that nearly 30% of girls (10 years old) were trying to lose weight. These participants were specific about which body parts they were unhappy with (stomach, thighs, height and body shape). This trend may be different in South Africa, but certainly could be true in certain SA societies. The 15-year-old group is most at risk to get bulimia, anorexia and abuse laxatives.

Unfortunately it is not only woman suffering from poor body image. Recent trends show that poor body image in men is on the increase – the masculine (Adonis type) male figure becomes an aspiration for the modern man.

Buying into the “perfect body image” is dangerous in weight loss. We often find that people live their lives in the fantasy that they will be happy when they are thin. Then when they reach that ideal goal weight, they do not automatically become happy and they are deeply disappointed – and the 'so what' kicks in… and they start gaining weight again.

Just remember that none of the above means that you can let yourself go – being fat and/or obese is fundamentally unhealthy and bad for you. Therefore create a want to be healthy not thin.

How Do We Fix This?

With difficulty! Remember we are dealing with life-long conditioning, i.e. a mental model that is fixed in our subconscious. It will take commitment and discipline to change your own body image into something positive. However, here are a few tips for change:

Focus on Your Health
If you have a passion to be healthy and not thin, you will be less inclined to eat yourself into oblivion. The old thinking: “I will never look like her; therefore I can just as well finish the whole box of Twinkies in one sitting”

Enlist Help
Find a partner, friend or colleague with whom you can plan healthy meals, exercise and relaxation.

Work on Your Appearance as is
Dress well, do your hair and nails. Be your own poster girl (or boy). There are many “larger (voluptuous)” people who look good and therefore look and feel confident.

Have a proud Posture
Fake it until you make it. Having a good posture leads to confidence and a “feel good” mood.

Practice Gratitude
Be thankful for your healthy body. Be grateful for your natural assets – this will help you feel good about your body.

Eliminate People Who Make You Feel Bad
Rather read articles or magazines which advocate health and not thin.

Do Activities You Love
Enjoy life (now, do not put it off) and shift your focus to activities other than your obsession with your body.

Exercise for Fun and Health
Don't exercise just for weight loss. Move for pleasure, not for looks!

Accept and Know
Those models and stars are airbrushed and prepared by experts (with all the tricks of their trade) before we see them in a magazine or on TV/movies. Some people are naturally fatter than others and nobody is perfect, not even those air-brushed models. Accept yourself the way you are, rather than mold yourself into some narrow defined ideal (set by a society that is not well).

Focus on What's Inside You
Concentrate on your unique strengths and positive qualities.

Live with Purpose
Find out what your dreams, passions and goals are? You are not going to be an underwear model – so what else can you do with your amazing gifts? Concentrate on your higher purpose and you will worry less about your body image.

Enjoy Your Body
Become comfortable with who you are naked. This will also help you in the bedroom with your man.

Surround Yourself With People Who Love You
There are authentic people in your world who loves the inner you. Spend time with them and appreciate them for who they are.

Pamper Yourself
If you think you are too fat for a massage, don't. Otherwise have your feet, hands and hair done! Nurture and take care of you and allow yourself some serious 'me' time. Feed the soul and not the negative body image.

Karina Reid is from Usherreid.com