By Zinhlezonke Zikalala
So, is ‘selfie addiction’ a real thing… or not?
So, apparently taking selfies is addictive… and, according to my colleagues, I’m one of the addicts. Of course, I disagree. I mean, have they seen Kuli Roberts insta feed? As you read this, the TV and radio personality is probably on the gram, uploading yet another selfie or two – let’s just say 10 to be safe. As for me, it’s not that bad yet… and I can prove it because I took a seven-day selfie-free week and this is exactly what happened…
Firstly, let me come clean: I’m ashamed to announce that I failed – but not dismally. On the reals though, selfie addiction is a legit thing. In fact, a selfie addict who took two hundred a day tried to commit suicide when he couldn’t take the perfect one. Yup.
Day 1: I Played Myself…
It wasn’t one of those dark blue Mondays – it was a good day for a selfie. I looked pretty decent. Facebeat was on fleek. Outfit, slaying. I had that “can do all things, even on Monday” glow. And usually, on days like these, a selfie or two or three are the order of the day. Sadly, I had to give myself a mini pep-talk: It’s only a picture; I don’t need it. I can always serve this much sauce next week! I was a bit disappointed, I must admit. A successful selfie opportunity… missed.
Day 2: Learn From Your Mistake
Today, no effort whatsoever went into how I looked or dressed! Literally, it was a matter of: get up, get dressed (a “whatever you lay your eyes on first” situation) and skip to work. Effort for what, if I can’t even document the slay anyway? But the thing is, I may have played myself again – because I feel really horrible. I looked like a hobo and sure as hell felt like one too. And it wasn’t about the pictures. I mean, I knew it isn’t. Or was I in denial? No… it was just a bad day – these things happened. Still no selfie.
Day 3: Be Normal
I didn’t think about the ‘No Selfie’ challenge today. Okay, that may be a lie. I just carried on as though life was good. I had normal work-day morning stress, made a little fuss over what I was going to wear to work, put in a little effort on the basics like brushing my eyebrows, but was running too late to apply make-up – no big deal. Off to work I went. But I did notice that I kept looking at my reflection in every glass wall I walked past – why I was doing this? I have no idea… Could it have been one of the selfie addict withdrawal symptoms? Which means I’m actually an addict? I was a bit worried for a second because it was day three and I hadn’t taken any selfies. I was proud and worried. So much for a normal day…
Day 4: Temptations Galore…
I was being tested. Rolling cameras were all over my face! Firstly, our beauty editor asked me to take a selfie – she wanted to check out my eyebrows for a story. And just as I’ve fixed and prepped myself to take one, because, you know, these things need a bit of prepping… it hits me! It’s a scam! No, no, no – I’m not falling for that. The next challenge? My friend intentionally made me photobomb her selfie… See, I’m not the problem here! I was definitely still winning on this challenge.
Day 5: Fridays Are Tricky
I woke up with an “I can do this” attitude – determined to make it through this eventful Friday without selfies. But it was going to be tricky. I was meeting friends who live out of town for drinks on dranks later on. Surely, they’d want pictures? How on earth was I going to get myself out of this one? And then it hit me… They’d be taking the selfies, not me, so technically I was still in the clear. Right? Great. So I posed for all the pictures they took with a conscience as clear as water.
It’s actually all about strategising. #Wink
This is where I, Zinhlezonke Zikalala, failed. Weekend was so LIT that not taking selfies was probably going to land me in jail. But this challenge taught me three important things. 1. I will not die if I don’t take pictures. 2. Life doesn’t revolve around selfies and the gram. 3. I’ve got commitment issues.