Sex & Relationships
Cheating and cybersex
Is Cybersex Cheating?
With the development of new technology, people have found new and innovative ways to add spice to their relationships...
'Cybersex' and 'sexting' are just two of the most common ones. Cybersex is when two people talk about, write about or demonstrate sexual acts online. Sexting is similar, just via your mobile phone.
There are some definite pros and cons to cybersex.
A new study released in September 2009 by the Swinburne University of Technology in Australia revealed that of 1325 internet users who engaged in cybersex, more than half were married or in a serious relationship with someone else.
The study also revealed that 65% of respondents had actually met a person face-to-face after engaging in some form of online sexual activity with them.
I have often been asked whether cybersex is considered cheating. Having cybersex with someone outside of your relationship shows that you are looking for physical/emotional gratification from somewhere else and are seeking to fulfill certain needs that you feel your partner is not meeting. The stats prove that many people progress from looking for these needs online to looking for them in an external, physical relationship.
So yes, cybersex can lead to physical cheating. However, there are some definite pros and cons to cybersex. Cybersex can keep the 'spark' going in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Having cybersex with each other through email or Skype helps to maintain the intimacy in the relationship.
If you're in a committed relationship, you can use cybersex to live out fantasies with your partner. You can start the cybersex during the day and then carry out the fantasy for 'real' at home later with your partner.
Last updated: Tue, 2010-10-12 12:10
About this blog
Hi, I am Leandie Buys, a qualified clinical sexologist, relationship and trauma counsellor. After working for the SAPS, I realised that my purpose in life is to help heal relationships that have been torn apart by lack of knowledge about sexual concerns and miscommunication. I regard sexual health as vital to your personal wellbeing and in order for you to have healthy, successful relationships, you need to be aware of the various concerns that can affect your sex life. I look forward to giving you advice and the latest updates on sexual health over the next few months.
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YES! YES! YES! I feel that if you experience any kind of intimate feelings or have a sexual experience with another person other than your better half, you are cheating.
Yes, Cybersex is definitely cheating. You're entering into an intimate relationship with someone else, even if it's merely intellectual. You're thinking of someone other than your partner in an intimate way and that's not okay.
I had cybersex with a married man (I am - and was at the time - in a relationship). We thought we were just messing around, letting our imaginations run. At no time did we ever have any desire to meet up, nor was any other form of relationship ever discussed. BUT, his wife discovered an email and it devastated her. This happened about 5 years ago, and to this day I'm racked with guilt for what immense hurt our thoughtless dalliance caused her. I told my partner what had happened - he asked me what my intentions were and I said to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure - I was 'just having fun'. Fun that nearly cost a marriage and my relationship. At the time, my partner was being really selfish - but I had a choice to talk to him about it, or end it. Instead I indulged myself. And I regret it so much. To any woman who's considering it, or has just got into this (if there are partners involved) - end it right now. You'll regret it if you don't.
Yes it is cheating if u in a relationship. I cybersex and have learnt a lot about how mens minds think... talk about imagination. But i refuse to chat to married/involved men, surprisingly enough, most of them are quite honest as to their relationship status.
My husband and i joined a adult website and had syber sex with other couples and singles and those looking for some spice, the danger is that it was awesome fun with benifits and i can say it also get nasty IF you don't have an open relationship. Yet the peaple we attracted was scary, but the trick is to keep it clean and open and do it for the right reasons.
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