Sex & Relationships
Fantasy and Role Play
Why Role Play Is Good For You
In my practice, I encourage couples to experiment with fantasy and role playing because it helps them add some spice and excitement to their physical relationship. Here's why...
Men and women often have a dream or fantasy of their ideal sexual scenario – the ultimate sexual experience. Role playing is when couples act out these sexual fantasies in reality – from "kidnapping" to "meeting a stranger in a bar" and other scenarios.
They can 'pretend' to be someone else, or act out fantasies, but I don't encourage adding another person to the relationship whether they are anonymous or not. Couples should also never 'pretend' to be someone in their immediate friendship or family circle, as this just opens up too many questions and may lead to jealousy and confusion in the relationship. Having a third party in a relationship is dangerous as someone will always feel left out, or felt that their emotional and physical needs are not being met.
Role playing simply adds a new perspective to the sexual encounter. It allows people to let go of some of their inhibitions during sex because they allow their "character/persona" to do things, say things and express things they wouldn't normally allow themselves to express.
Sex is incredibly intimate, and requires people to be extremely vulnerable. People who are in high-powered positions at work often feel a lot of pressure to maintain their power. They feel that showing any vulnerability will undermine their position. Living under this kind of pressure on a day-to-day basis is physically and mentally exhausting. Role playing allows high-powered individuals to escape the pressure to maintain power because they can "be" a different person. These individuals may choose to role-play characters that are submissive in order to reduce the psychological and physical strain on their bodies.
Of course, some couples just enjoy role playing for the excitement and "newness" it brings to the relationship, and the characters they choose are just randomly based on their personal fantasies
About this blog

Hi, I am Leandie Buys, a qualified clinical sexologist, relationship and trauma counsellor. After working for the SAPS, I realised that my purpose in life is to help heal relationships that have been torn apart by lack of knowledge about sexual concerns and miscommunication. I regard sexual health as vital to your personal wellbeing and in order for you to have healthy, successful relationships, you need to be aware of the various concerns that can affect your sex life. I look forward to giving you advice and the latest updates on sexual health over the next few months.










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