Sex & Relationships
How to find a man
Single? That's Great But...
I’ve been staying with a dear friend in the UK for the past week. Her life seems perfect. She lives in the country, in a picture perfect English cottage and she has a great career. She is witty, beautiful, and very intelligent and... single.
Single women everywhere are needlessly spending their Saturday nights alone. It's not that they have nothing else to do – there are friends to visit, dinners to be enjoyed, and movies to be seen. But a certain someone who can't be replaced by other relationships and activities is missing from the picture, and his absence is starting to take the fun out of all the other social life options.
Sound familiar? If you find yourself still waiting and wishing for love, you may want to take a look at the role you're playing. Time is of the essence – and I don't mean in the biological-clock sense. I mean that if you want to find someone, you have to make time and room for love. In other words, are you actively looking for someone, or are you waiting for someone to find you?
While there's something to be said for living your life and allowing unexpected love to come your way, Mr Right is not going to fly in through your apartment window!
Make sure you're putting yourself out there – get your newspaper and caffeine fix at the coffee shop instead of reading alone at home or eat lunch in a bustling part of the park rather than at your desk. Join a hiking or bicycling group. Take a language class. Make choices that nourish you and your interests, but in a social setting.
If you give it time, love will come your way – but it'll happen faster if you're not so hard to find! Get out there in the open, and soon lightning will strike. And in my friend's case I suggested she gets out of the country and back to the city. As I'm getting ready to return to city life, I do envy her lifestyle. But then again, life in the fast lane. I love it!
Moral of the story...life is too short to date ugly men.












it came by coincidence that I got this article to read and for interest sake here is a opinion from a man thats stays on a farm and live a life where there is lots of adventure and fun..
I am single and a 37 year old good looking dude that love to date women but it never came to mrs.right and got married..the women these days that I dated said they love to be adventurous and live life to the fullist but that seem to fade quikly..the one I had didn't want to open a gate and the other one didn't want to walk bear foot on the grass and so I carry on.. Its seems to me that women wants the tipical "mammas boy" for me its "gay" as a boyfriend..
My question is if they want to live life in the fast line sure have fun go and sit in the traffic go to your shopping centre's and drink ice tea is that a fast line to do on weekend's ? My point is there is a lot of single dudedettes also in the city's that don't know what they want because they "chasing the world" .
Live life and feel how's it to be free and forget what the world wants..
I'm a single girl aged 28. I'm a bit on the shy side, which is probably my downfall as I find it difficult to "put myself out there". Don't want to get my heart broken again as when I fall, I fall pretty hard. I have lots of love to give but it seems all the good men out there are already taken...........????
I'm a city girl (31) and I'd much rather be spending my time in a country cottage and frolicking in the long grass with a menagerie of farmyard creatures than sitting in traffic for 3 hours a day. Even if it meant never being in a relationship again. Yes it's very easy to meet men and women in the city but because of this it makes it hard to find someone who actually wants a relationship. Most people are in it for the thrill of the chase. Cows are just as cuddly as men.
In response to dudes post:
it's very frustrating getting to know someone and then to gradually find out they are not as 'adventerous' or care free as you thought or hoped.
i spent my holidays growing up on a farm in the "groot karoo" and when I am there I appreciate that there is no cell reception and no electricity- you fall asleep with the sound of the lister engine in the backround. (eslom only got the in 2002...haha)
as you grow up you study, you start a career to earn your way in the world. So you and your friends enjoy shopping and cocktails...but that novelty faded pretty quickly- it wasnt naturally inherent for me.
The final test of 'where you belong' is where you feel your best, your ultimate and most happy! so waking up in the morning in the city or on the farm with knowing what the day holds in each of these places. The city tends to make me anxious and nervous and i get looked at funny if i walk around barefooted or want to drag the tent out and get away for a weekend...
the farm on the other hand excites me...it makes me feel more in touch..with myself...my family...the whole world just seems better.
My friends (i love them to death) cringe when I say that i would pack my bags in a second and head to the hills where there is no cell reception... then again I realise that living the fast life is what excites them...makes them feel more in touch! and the world seems better to them here.
I was at an english school with english friends......amongst what most people would describe as snobs (still...i love them to death)... from an afrikaans family but i grew up with these types of friends. yet Ive never lost the feeling that "ek aard nie regtig in die stad nie..."
it's just something you are born with and that your family creates for you and you cant grow out of it- a feel for a certain type of happiness and life. my ideal is to live a simple life.
Later it starts appealing to other people too, but if it's not inherent it doesnt last long.
So, I totally get your frustration dude. the men i meet in the 'city' are mostly materialistic and not used to roughing it at all making it difficult to connect.
after a couple of long...somewhat successful relationships I realise that i am not one of those girls meant to be alone forever... i love caring for someone and being one half of a 'partnership' where you can share things and have undoubted support..also to know that you can love so fully is a part of life i hope i will have as a constant in the future. But, the simple life calls and to settle when you are not content can only create problems ...like you say just havent met the one.
while most of my friends are getting married to their dream dudes and enjoying the corporate life I make peace with the fact that in this life i might not meet my dude but as long as i can pack my bags and head to the karoo every now and then to see the skapies and the brightest stars i'm content.
I must say, I live in Cape Town and is a 32 year old single girl! Where to find nice men that actually know what they want in life and enjoy both the city and the outdoor is my biggest problem! If anyone can help me find a nice place to meet nice men - please tell me!! Church and hiking/bike clubs are fine, but I found that there are only men with baggage there. Internet is also not for me, tried it, but not my sceen.....
So now I just live my life one day at a time, spent lots of time with friends and hopefully Mr Right will knock on my door!
Ah, I met my husband while running actually, so keep getting out there doing what you love and you will find someone who you connect with. Be positive and don't ever settle for less.
I am in the same spot.I have come to a stage where I want to be with a man bcos he wants to be with mea and not just for sex.I am turning 32 and single,guys I meet are just into sex and that's it.When will guys grow and see that life is not just about sex with different women?
Tired of being single.........biological clock is also ticking.
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