Q: My boyfriend doesn’t want me to use my vibrator during sex. What can I do to convince him it’s a friend, not a threat?

A: Most women can’t climax during penetration without some form of clitoral stimulation. Because tongues and fingers can wear out before you do, a vibrator is just the ticket. Try eroticising your vibrator, making it seem like an accessory, not a replacement or an indication of failure on his part.

Introduce it outside your typical routine: you play Sex Toy Sally, the stripper, and give him a wad of notes to tip you with. Or ask him to watch as you masturbate. Then include him. Guys like vibration, especially on the testis and head of the penis. If he still seems nervous, ask him what’s up. Reassure him that he’s your number-one stud. Vibrators certainly don’t call you or bring you coffee in bed. Hopefully, he’ll come around.