Q: My partner recently told me that he doesn't feel me when we make love. Is it possible that I am too big for him?

A: What you are experiencing is a common female problem. Remember, the vagina has the potential to let a baby pass through – it can stretch! The bladder, rectum and vagina are dependent for their functioning on the sling of muscles formed by the pelvic floor. While the bladder and rectum have sphincters (meaning that you have voluntary control over them), the vagina does not. Even so, in the case of the medical and psychological condition vaginismus, the vagina can act like a sphincter. What you are experiencing is the opposite: the muscles are too relaxed meaning your partner doesn't feel pressure on his penis when he penetrates you.

While you don't have voluntary control over your vagina, the good news is that you can learn to control your pelvic floor muscles by doing Kegel exercises. This will mean your partner will feel a lot more during sex. You will even learn how to squeeze his penis, making the sensation even more pleasurable for him. Believe me – he's in for a treat!

But you're not just doing these exercises for his benefit. Your own orgasms will become stronger and you will be able to reach your peak easier. It also makes recovery from childbirth quicker. And as you get older, it will help to prevent incontinence as well as a prolapsed uterus (your womb moves down into your vagina), which makes sex painful.

How To Do Kegel Exercises

The next time you need to go to the toilet, allow yourself to start the flow of urine and then stop the flow abruptly – remember this feeling. Then find time during each day to do your exercises while you are driving, watching TV or in a boring meeting – no-one will ever know!

To begin with, squeeze your muscles and hold for 10 seconds, then relax completely. Repeat three times.

Once you've mastered that, squeeze lightly for five seconds, relax for five, squeeze slightly harder for five seconds, relax and then squeeze really tightly for five seconds and relax. Then repeat in reverse order. Rest for a while and repeat three times.

You can also train your muscles to do quick contractions and releases by squeezing for one second and then relaxing for one second. Repeat 10 times.

To be effective, Kegel exercises should be done at least three times a day.