Who doesn't enjoy a glass of red wine at dinner time, and a few drinks on the town with friends? Alcohol in itself is not a bad substance, but I am seeing it affect more and more relationships as people abuse it in their stressed-out lives.

Alcohol is often used as a "social lubricant" to help ease the nerves and allow people to drop their inhibitions. This calming effect, however, is sometimes carried into other aspects of individuals' lives where it disrupts their relationships and their everyday functioning.

I have counselled a number of patients where one partner developed a pattern of using alcohol as a stress-reliever after a long day at work – but the one glass of whiskey often turns into two, three, four… and eventually the relationship begins to break down because there is very little communication between the partners any more. Most conversations lead to arguments, and the partner abusing the alcohol will often not recognise the damage that it is doing to their relationship until it is too late.

It is often said that alcohol can be the "third person" in a relationship, where one partner ends up having an 'affair' with the alcohol regardless of the consequences.

If a person has developed a pattern of needing a drink or two every night to relieve stress, they are no longer a "social drinker," and should assess the situation together with their partner to see if it is something that they need to seek counselling for.

How to deal with alcoholism in a relationship:

• First decide whether or not one of the partners has to remove themselves (and their children) from the situation if their health or lives are in danger.

• Identify the reason that the partner is abusing alcohol, then seek answers – through counselling and rehabilitation to help resolve the situation.

• Look at how the alcoholism has affected the relationship and start to work on repairing the trust, support and intimacy between the partners.