Sex & Relationships
Why you should talk about sex
You Should Talk About Sex
When couples come to see me for relationship counselling, the first thing that I ask them to do is fill in a series of questionnaires. These cover a wide range of topics including your first sexual encounter, where you first learned about sex, your beliefs about sex and what you expect from your partner when it comes to sex.
Couples are always surprised by their partner's answers. This just goes to show that sex is something that still doesn't get discussed within relationships. Women talk to their friends about it, but they don't often have the confidence to talk about it with their partners.
Talking about sex with your partner is incredibly important. Knowing what your partner thinks about sex and what they desire from sex will really help to boost the intimacy between you. If there is something you've always wanted to know but have been too afraid to ask, you should take a risk and ask the question – the odds are that he has some questions too.
In a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, there was a massive gap between the perceptions of men and women. According to the study, 85% of men said their latest sexual partner had an orgasm, while only 64% of women reported having an orgasm in their most recent sexual event. This means that there is a lot of 'faking it' going on.
But how will your man ever learn which buttons to push if you never tell him? Talking about sex is one of the first things I teach my patients, and they are always surprised to find how much it grows their relationship.
About this blog

Hi, I am Leandie Buys, a qualified clinical sexologist, relationship and trauma counsellor. After working for the SAPS, I realised that my purpose in life is to help heal relationships that have been torn apart by lack of knowledge about sexual concerns and miscommunication. I regard sexual health as vital to your personal wellbeing and in order for you to have healthy, successful relationships, you need to be aware of the various concerns that can affect your sex life. I look forward to giving you advice and the latest updates on sexual health over the next few months.










Talking about sex its very good and it keep the relationship stronger,develop love,trust and brings so many ideas about future.Some people at some stage have seen their parents figthing over sex then,they start to hate sex at all.Sometimes the first time they loose their virginity,it was bad and painful.So this keeps on coming back in their mind if they want to have sex.By getting someone you can talk to before it helps a lot.
As a relationship counsellor I entirely agree about how important it is for a coulpe to talk about sex. You might be interested in looking at the app I've developed (coincidentally called Couple Talk). It aims to help couples talk about all sorts of things, including sex. More info on the Apple store at http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/couple-talk/id492035845?ls=1&mt=8
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