As an infant, you learn that your parents will look out for you and make sure you’re safe, healthy and happy. Siblings, aunts and uncles and, eventually, friends also pitch in. Nice as it might be to continue this pleasant arrangement; the time comes when you need to accept some of the responsibility yourself. You have to fight your own fights, find your own happiness, take care of your own health and nourish your own spirit – and be your own best friend and life champion.

Yourself
Assertiveness is communicating and respecting your needs and rights without ignoring, trampling or hurting those of others. People shy away from this, fearing others won’t like them or will think they’re aggressive or bad-mannered. The reality is that people don’t think less of assertive individuals, they respect them more. Consider this: by always agreeing with or doing things for others, you don’t give them the chance to know the real you, plus you’re assuming they’re incapable of doing things themselves or unable to accept differing opinions.

If you fear being assertive about ‘bad’ things like complaining or saying no, start with good things: compliment someone (many people find this challenging). Email a company about good service or tell a friend she looks lovely. You’ll soon get hooked on the feeling of making someone’s day. This brings you to the next step towards championing yourself: accepting compliments. Because a compliment is, essentially, an opinion, arguing about it is almost like telling the compliment-giver that their opinion doesn’t count.

Accepting compliments and praise with a gracious ‘thank you’ won’t make people think you’re vain – they’ll be pleased that you value their opinion. Plus, by choosing to believe praise or compliments, you’ll feel much better about yourself.

Hate saying no to unreasonable requests for fear of appearing rude or making people dislike you? Consider this: someone who asks you to do something (particularly if they’re repeat offenders) is being somewhat rude by asking you to do something inconvenient. Further, if someone likes you and is your friend, they’ll understand that sometimes you just can’t do everything for everyone. Asking for (and giving) help is good, but sometimes people take advantage of those they know always say yes. Still feel bad? Ask yourself: if someone took advantage of my friend/child/sister, wouldn’t I stand up for them?

Your Health
Do you place full responsibility for your health in your doctor’s hands? This is fine if you’re sick and need help getting better, but not if you want to stay healthy and prevent illness on a daily basis.

Start by looking after yourself with healthy food and lifestyle choices, supplements and stress-relief techniques. If you feel tired or stressed, take Vital Maxi B for your brain and nervous system, energy levels and a healthy immune system. For all-round health, you’ll need a multivitamin (The Vital Multitime range has something for everyone), and to combat stress, poor concentration and anxiety, take omega 3 fatty acids, e.g. Vital Omega 3 Concentrate.

People often forget what they want to say the minute they’re with the doctor, so take a list of your symptoms, medications and supplements with you. Understandably, doctors are pressed for time, but don’t be rushed into leaving before you’ve explained your situation and gotten feedback – you’re paying to be there. If you feel your doctor doesn’t measure up, there’s nothing wrong with looking for another. Although it’s quite nerve-wracking, politely explain why you’re leaving and request copies of your medical records for your new doctor. This way, the doctor can improve his/her service and you will feel more empowered.

Your Spirit
Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, believed that the body needs the spirit for motivation and that, if you recognise the beauty of the spirit within, your life will be fruitful.

Frankl, a psychiatrist and neurologist who survived three different concentration camps during World War II, found that people with meaning in their lives – be it loved ones, projects they wanted to complete or a great sense of faith – were more likely to survive the camps than those who had lost hope. Frankl explained that, "Life can be made meaningful by what we give to the world in terms of our creation; by what we take from the world in terms of our experience; and by the stand we take toward the world, that is to say, by the attitude we choose toward suffering."

For something to have meaning, it doesn’t need to be a ‘big deal’. Some ways to find meaning in your life and feed your spirit include keeping a journal (this helps you understand why certain things happen in your life and how your attitude can change your experiences and outcomes), charity work, being creative, gardening or even just taking a few minutes every day to contemplate everything which you have to be grateful for.

Your Luck
Professor Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire in the UK, found that we influence our own luck. While a certain amount of luck is due to chance, Wiseman concluded, after a 10-year long study, that lucky people differ from those considered unlucky because of the way they view the world.

He explains that, “My research revealed that lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.” In short, the key to changing how much luck you have is changing your attitude.

Your Safety
Our beautiful country is struggling with a crime epidemic. Here are ten safety tips from the South African Police Service (SAPS):

• Before driving anywhere, check that your vehicle’s condition is good, you have enough petrol and your route is planned.

• Keep car doors locked and windows shut, especially when stopping at intersections, and ensure valuables aren’t visible.

• At home, keep keys out of sight and ensure doors and gates are always locked.

• Instead of a high wall, have a high fence – you’ll be able to see if anyone’s lurking behind it.

• Maintain good relationships with neighbours and look out for each other. Report suspicious behaviour.

• Be alert when using ATMs.

• Don’t leave handbags unattended or in plain sight. If you’re at a restaurant, wrap the strap around your foot or chair leg.

• Always be aware of your surroundings.

• Stick to busy, well-lit areas and walk with friends.

• Don’t display valuables or cellular phones.

You’re never too young or too old to take a self-defence course and learn effective techniques to stay safe and fight off attackers. Keep fit as you may need to run away or fight. But even if you’re not the fittest person around, knowing that you can defend yourself can give you the confidence to do so.

Above all, in any situation, always trust your instincts.

For more information about crime prevention and safety tips, go to the SAPS website at www.saps.gov.za. For self-defence workshops in the Western Cape contact Sanette Smit on +27 21 461 0036 or go to www.selfdefence.co.za or try your local gym.

Tuning Up
Music can make us feel cheerier, and more confident and energised. Evidence shows that this is because our brainwaves react according to the music we’re listening to. Faster beats make us more alert and energetic, while slower ones help relaxation and meditation. Pick a theme song and ‘play’ it in your head when you need extra confidence. Make it something powerful, uplifting, or even just plain silly – if it makes you feel you can take on the world, that’s the song for you.

Try One of These:
• We Are The Champions – Queen
• Eye of the Tiger – Survivor
• My Way – Frank Sinatra
• I Am What I Am – Gloria Gaynor
• (I Got You) I Feel Good – James Brown
• I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan
• My Favourite Things – The Sound of Music
• I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
• Respect – Aretha Franklin
• You Raise Me Up – Josh Groban