There's a breed of tyrant cropping up in workplaces: women. This woman’s ambition is to intimidate other women. So what if you become a target?

When I was offered a job as an assistant producer for a TV show at age 26, I was beyond excited. Tanya*, a TV veteran who had worked with some big stars, seemed intimidating from afar – but in our interview, she was warm and funny, listened to my ideas, and complimented me. I showed up on my first day thinking, "This will be the Best. Job. Ever."

Instead, I drove home every night in tears. Tanya stole my ideas, sabotaged my relationships with writers, and "forgot" to tell me about meetings. It was like high school! And apparently, it happens a lot. A recent poll revealed that 45 percent of workers say have experienced workplace abuse. But oddly, while men push around both male and female colleagues, the 40 percent of tormentors who are women tend to pick on other women more than 70 percent of the time.

What Sisterhood?

One reason women may take on other women: "They're often less confrontational when attacked," says Gary Namie, co-founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute. “They tend to turn their backs on bad behaviour in a way men won't.”

So how do you know whether you're being bullied? Bullying is something that happens repeatedly. "It's not just your boss having a bad day," Namie says. The abuse can include shouting; intimidating or humiliating behaviour; or sabotage, whether it's vicious gossip or taking credit for someone else’s work.

Nasty stuff. Plus, stressed people are more likely to act out. Puleng (27) has a perfectionist boss known for making cutting remarks, zeroing in on people's weaknesses and reducing staffers to tears. "Every week I did a long report for her, and I made a small mistake on one," Puleng recalls. "The next day, she slammed the files down and yelled in front of everyone, 'Fucking fix this!'"

Then there are the bosses who stay cool as ice but are sadistic. Annemarie, a 43-year-old PR account manager, asked for time off because her father was having emergency surgery; her boss accused her of trying to take a holiday and wouldn't let her go.

Dirty Tricks

Generally, women aren't openly abusive. "Women are better at reading emotions," says Robert Sutton, a professor of management science. "So they’re good at little digs that most men wouldn't even register – the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else."

Knock It Off!

Many bullies survive even though their behaviour is destructive. "Most bullies hold senior positions and are more valuable to the business, and harder to replace, than the person they're bullying,' says Jessica Gamsu, director of boutique headhunting firm Jessica Gamsu Consulting. But not addressing a problem has a cost: a Harvard Business Review study found that picked-on employees reported a decrease in their work quality and commitment.

Some companies do take the culprits to task. Wardia (35), who headed a marketing team, was required to take a leadership course after her boss received complaints. "She told me I was harsh, condescending and had unreasonable expectations," Wardia says. The course taught her how to deal with different personality types, and she never got a negative performance review again.

So what options does a bullied employee have? "The biggest mistake is thinking they can outlast the bully," Namie says. "That rarely happens."

Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant, believes that dealing with a bully isn't so different from dealing with a toddler having a tantrum: you have to be the calm adult. If a bully is shouting at you, let her vent. Don't interrupt and definitely don't cry. Look her straight in the eye and listen. When the storm has passed, repeat her concerns back to her and be specific about how to fix things, Taylor says. "Distil the emotions down to the work product. She's expecting you to be defensive or to break down, but instead, you're on her team and drawing her into the solution."

If the problem is a sneaky or vicious colleague, take her aside – she gets confidence from an audience. "Be straightforward. Start with something like: 'I'd like to have a chat with you because there's a situation that has arisen that's making me unhappy.' Keep your case as factual as possible," suggests Gamsu. Don't give her a chance to explain; say your piece, then walk away.

If these strategies don't work, talk to HR, but you have to be confident that this will give you the return you need. Your case will be stronger if the bullying behaviour has been well documented, so save angry emails and keep detailed notes of each incident. In some cases, a warning will stop the behaviour; in others, HR can help the two sides communicate. But this route could strain the relationship further. A bullying situation that involves a senior member of staff might not be worth the fight, warns Gamsu. "Ninety-nine out of 100 times you are going to lose. Unless they are doing this to many people and it is well documented, you're unlikely to get anywhere."

Before it gets to that point, it's worth trying to stand your ground and dodge the storm. And keep in mind that life has a funny way of working out: when you're dealing with a bitch, remember that karma, as they say, can also be a bitch. In the end, the universe might just kick your bully where it counts.