Control Your Envy
Go green-eyed when something good happens to a friend? Here how’s to stop jealousy in its tracks.
She Lives a Perfect LifestyleYour BFF has a touch of Julia Roberts about her, looks great in skinny jeans and has a husband who not only adores her, but can whip up a mean lasagne.
Looking in from the other side of the white picket fence of her three-bedroom home, it all looks perfect – enviably perfect. Mel*, a 30-year-old mother of two confesses, "When I hear about things like my friend's second overseas trip this year, I can't contribute anything to the conversation. It makes me feel left out, like I'm not her equal, and yes, jealous. My actions don't change, but in my mind I feel like I pull away from her."
Solution 1: Avoid Comparisons
There isn't much that you can do to avoid the obvious physical perfection of a friend or to block out the love between her and her partner, no matter how much it makes you gag. To keep yourself sane, avoid comparisons between the two of you, because there's a vast difference between impressions and reality – her partner may cut his toenails in bed and the bond on that plush house is probably giving her sleepless nights.
Solution 2: Be Honest About Your Feelings
If talking about her holiday plans stirs uneasy emotions in you, perhaps it's best to put it out there and tell her how it makes you feel. If you choose to get it off your chest, remember that this issue is really all about you, not your friend. Explain that, while you know she's excited about the trip, and her talking about it is normal, it makes you feel bad that you can't share this sort of thing with her. Then switch to something that you can both talk about.
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