Anyone who’s watched Clipz knows a shot to the crotch is hilarious. But that dad whose toddler just whacked him with a five iron is writhing on the ground for a reason. While vital organs like the heart and brain are protected by bone, testicles hang outside the body to stay cool enough for sperm production. By equipping them with oodles of nerve endings, evolution has guaranteed that we’ll go to great lengths to defend them. Hence, a guy’s hands fly to his boys – and the boys retreat to the groin – when he suffers even a glancing blow. Should he take a harder shot, here’s a hint of what it feels like.
“You know when you stub your toe? Imagine if your toe dangled from your foot and bounced around like a speed bag whenever it was struck.” – Van Ray, 25.
“It feels like someone’s trying to remove my stomach by pulling it out of my urethra using hot tongs.” – Eric, 30.
“The delay between impact and full-on hurt is utter purgatory. There’s a split second when you think, ‘Whoa, maybe it’s not gonna hurt…’ And then bam! A train plows right through your crotch.” – Pete, 29.
Note: If a guy’s really suffering, try ice – 15 minutes on, 15 minutes off – for 48 hours. Then switch to warm baths twice a day until the pain goes away.
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