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This Is EXACTLY What Men Think… During Sex

Posted on: by Leigh Champanis-King
What men think during sex

By Leigh Champanis-King; Photography by Jonathan Taylor

“Don’t break my penis”

Ever wondered what goes through his mind during sex? We got the answers from local men and asked the Men’s Health team for advice on what you can do to make it better for your guy.

On… Sex in The Shower

What he’s thinking:

“This is… Uhm, how do you… This is harder than it looks!”

“Eish, those tiles are cold! It’s kind of hard to get a good grip on her. But this is so hot!

“A stream of water sloshing away any natural lubrication, the constant fear of my dick snapping like a nightmare Kit Kat commercial and knowledge that we’re both wasting a dwindling water supply as we destroy our pelvic muscles for 20 minutes all in the name of a meagre orgasm just as the hot water runs out. Bleak.”

“The water looks amazing sluicing down her body! And it’s such a turn- on to get so soapy and slippery together.”

Make it better:

“Outside of commandeering a disabled bathroom (the showers have seats) start with foreplay under the stream – warm water and handjobs do actually mix – and finish up on the bed.”

READ MORE: 5 Surprising Things Guys Worry About Most During Sex

On… Missionary

What he’s thinking:

“Look at her breasts go!”

“I hope she doesn’t look down and see the boep I’m developing! Keep your abs tight, man! Damn, my arms are getting tired. Why isn’t she doing anything?”

“I’m right here, why isn’t she looking into my eyes? What’s so fascinating about the ceiling? Who is she thinking about?”

“Do I play with her boobs or kiss her neck? Does she want the pressure of my body on her or does she want me to hold myself up over her. Can we switch positions yet?”

Make it better:

“He just wants to know you’re into it. Moan, claw his back, bite his fingers, wrap your legs around him or at least stop watching MasterChef for a few minutes.”

READ MORE: 3 Things Your Guy Wants You To Do In Bed…But Will Never Ask For

On… Reverse Cowgirl

What he’s thinking:

“This would look great in the mirror! Does she want to be spanked? Or does she want me to come up from behind to play with her boobs? I’ll just sit back and enjoy.”

“This feels great, but a little disconnected.”

“I hope my feet are clean and presentable!”

“This feels good, very good. And she looks great from behind – wait, is that a mole? Looks new. I think she better get it checked out.”

Make it better:

“Use his legs or chest for purchase and go to town. You’re in the pilot seat, just make sure you control your descent. There isn’t an emergency position that can prepare him for that sort of crash-landing. Otherwise there’s not much you can really do wrong.”

READ MORE: “I Tore My Penis During Sex—Here’s What It Was Like”

On… The 69

What he’s thinking: 

“Oh, hi, Ms Anus!”

“It’s a little difficult to focus on two things at the same time…”

“This is amazing. It’s the ideal situation – she’s got sh*t to do, I’ve got sh*t to do. We’re both busy and it feels great.”

“This is like a very dodgy out-take from that scene in Spider-Man.”

“Great! I don’t have to feel guilty about receiving a blow job anymore. Now if you would just slide down into reverse cowgirl…”

Make it better:

“It’s not just about what you’re doing with your mouth. Feel free to ride his face like a quad bike on a bumpy road. Just bring your knees together for a pit stop every now and then. That, or hook him up with some scuba gear.”

READ MORE: 8 Things Even Men Probably Don’t Know About Their Penis

On… Doggy-style

What he’s thinking:

“Thrusting has never felt easier, but I’m a little worried that she’s down there doing her tax returns.”

“Am I hurting her? Does this make her feel dirty or does it feel really good?”

“The feeling of control and animalistic sense of desire is great. Does she want to be spanked? Doesn’t she want to be spanked? If so, how hard is too hard? Does she want her hair pulled? Hopefully she wants her hair pulled!”

“It feels so good and I can get so deep. And her hip bones are like handles – it’s fantastic!”

Make it better:

“It’s lonely work up there. Look back to let him know you’re enjoying it and don’t be shy about pushing back. Bonus points if you have a motivational message tattooed on your back: HANG IN THERE, SOLDIER”.

Looking for more? Here are three things holding him back from going ‘down town’.

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