how to masturbate for the most pleasure

Whether it's imagining Ryk Neethling working his way up your thighs or pretending you've been kidnapped by a sex-starved game ranger, finding fantasies that light your fire is key to boosting desire and upping your odds of reaching orgasm alone and in company.

Fantasies allow people to let go of some of their inhibitions because they allow their "character" to do and say things they wouldn't normally be comfortable with. "To tune into a sexual experience, you have to turn off the parts of your brain associated with stress and anxiety," Buys says. "And fantasising is the most effective way to do that."

The logic is simple: you can't worry about work, money or unfolded laundry when your frontal lobe is focused on a re-enactment of the spanking scene in Secretary.

Have doubts about the power of fantasy? Consider this: back in 1992, Beverly Whipple, co-author of The Science of Orgasm, along with her colleagues Gena Ogden and Barry Komisaruk, monitored the blood pressure, heart rate, pupil diameter and pain tolerance of 10 women who claimed they could think their way to climax. As the subjects fantasised in a lab, seven exhibited the exact physical responses caused by hands-on stimulation. Now that's what we call mind over matter.
On your own, you have all the time in the world to browse through your mental files – reviewing past sexual experiences, erotic movie scenes or random images that flip your switch. Don't be afraid to go wherever your mind takes you, even if it's to the dark side.

"Scenarios involving bondage and domination are totally normal," says sex educator Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation. In a study of 178 volunteers at the University of Vermont, 71 percent said they’d had kinky or taboo fantasies. (The rest probably just lacked imagination.)

Once you've freed your dirty mind, use it to your advantage before and during sex. That means scrapping any guilt you feel about thinking of something other than what and whom you're doing at the moment. "You don't need to feel guilty about fantasising while you're with your partner; in fact, you should encourage them to participate in your fantasy," Buys says.

You can also use them as a tool to become completely immersed in your sexual experience. When you're struggling to feel sexy, close your eyes and recall thoughts that made you hot when no one else was around. Try to devote 100 percent of your attention to every detail of that titillating image. By doing so, you'll shift gears and speed your transition from stress pot to sexpot. During sex, naughty thoughts can help you beat distractions. If you find that you regularly "lose an orgasm" due to a shift in your body or mind, fantasy can bring your thoughts back to sex and a heightened state of arousal.