live your sex fantasties

When Kim Kardashian filmed a 39-minute sex romp (yes, we did actually count it just for research purposes, of course) with her then-boyfriend Ray J, the reality TV star was simply indulging in a little fantasy play. But then it hit the Net, was viewed by millions of people and ultimately made her a couple of million bucks after she struck a deal with the rights holders. Now that's a dream come true. But fantasy play is not only for the rich and famous, and there's nothing deviant or taboo about incorporating it into your sex life, says Port Elizabeth sexologist Leandie Buys.

There's a big difference between erotic dreams (yes, the one you had last night about kissing your female boss would be one of those) and fantasies. "You don't have control over erotic dreams because they are created by your subconscious," explains sexologist and relationship expert Dr Elmari Mulder Craig. In contrast, talking about, and acting out, sexual fantasies with your partner is a great way to enhance your sex life, allowing you to liberate your sexual thoughts and reach new levels of intimacy. As WH sexologist Elna Rudolph adds, it doesn't need to mean wild, dirty, outrageous ideas. "It's about letting your mind go to the things you really want to experience with your partner."

Having some lusty ideas could even bring you sexual relief. "Some women can bring themselves to orgasm with sexual thoughts alone, without any physical stimulation," says Rudolph. This is because the same feel-good hormones you feel coursing through your veins when you're having sex are released when you fantasise. It's as close to the real thing as possible.