An Intimate Guide To 28 Days Of The Best Sex Of Your Life
Clear your calendars girls!
Why you have sex, how often you orgasm and how wild you’re tempted to get in bed all depend in part on where you are in your menstrual cycle.
“When women hear the word ‘menstrual’, they tend to think of cramps and discomfort,” says Dr Gina Ogden, author of The Return of Desire. “But the hormones that influence your cycle – oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone – fluctuate each day and affect your sexual behaviour in dramatic ways.”
Although every woman is different, knowing what changes your body is going through can help you plan for a month of unbelievable sex…
Day 1: Take Control During Sex
On the first day of your period you’ll feel extroverted and bold, thanks to a rise in the feel-good hormones oxytocin, testosterone and oestrogen. Your libido should be amped too, so aim for all the pleasure you can. Woman-on-top is ideal because your clitoris is extra sensitive and you can control the depth and angle while he lies back and enjoys the view. It’s perfectly safe to have penetrative sex during your period.
Day 2: Indulge in Slow, Sensual Sex
You’re feeling good because oestrogen and testosterone continue to rise today. “Oestrogen magnifies the five senses, so kisses feel more intense and your man looks more attractive to you, making sex a total mind-body experience,” says Gabrielle Lichterman, author of 28 Days. Light some candles, play slow tunes and satisfy each other from head to toe.
Day 3: Pamper Him
A surge in testosterone boosts your confidence in your union and makes any annoying habits your partner may have seem less grating. (His snoring may not suddenly become cute, but you get the idea). So treat him to a spine-tingling massage. There’s no doubt he’ll return the favour.
Day 4: Think Outside the Bed
Your right brain is famous for giving you creative ideas, and today tiny levels of rising oestrogen and testosterone boost the odds that you’ll use this side of your most erogenous organ.
Day 5: Get Competitive
Your right brain may have been in charge yesterday, but today oestrogen and testosterone will increase even more, shifting the power to your analytical left brain. Testosterone also makes you competitive. Use that bold streak to challenge him to a naughty game like strip poker. If you win, so does your libido – conquering a guy elevates your testosterone levels by 49 percent, making you even more amorous.
Day 6: Bond With Your Guy
By now, you should be feeling calm, rational and remarkably clear-headed. “Oestrogen gets another boost, making you social and articulate,” says Dr Jed Diamond, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome. So take advantage of your way with words and tell your guy exactly why you love him. He’ll eat it up.
Day 7: Sync Up Your Sex Drives
You’re still chatty due to elevated oestrogen levels and, as an added perk, your energy will skyrocket. Since guys are often raring to go in the morning (their testosterone levels peak in the am), take advantage of your extra adrenaline and hop in the shower with him.
Day 8: Have a Quickie
If you prefer not to have sex during your period, now is your chance to make up for lost time. Get busy in the middle of the afternoon, or pull him into an empty room during a party for some instant action.
But don’t expect the quickie to work for you every time. Men who like fast intercourse are often desensitised and find that it’s the only way they can reach orgasm. Sometimes it’s the result of rough masturbation technique and other times it’s simply a personal preference – a turn-on like any other. “The problem is that rapid thrusting only works for women once they are sufficiently aroused – and even then, some don’t like it,” points out McIntosh.
Days 9 to 14: Fixate on Him
You’ll start getting a big boost of oestrogen and testosterone during these six days, making you especially flirty. Your voice even becomes higher-pitched during this time, according to research conducted by the University of California. This change in voice pitch dates back to caveman days, when choices in men were limited. Once ovulation occurred, women needed a coy way to snag a man during the final push – and voice pitch seemed to help.
One potential problem: you may also have a wandering eye. Scientists say women fantasise about other men 160 percent more in the middle of their cycles. Keep the lights on so he has your complete attention, and gaze into each other’s eyes during missionary.
Days 15 and 16: Stay Connected
Welcome to pre-PMS. Rising levels of noradrenaline and libido-noxious progesterone, together with declining levels of testosterone and oestrogen, may make you irritated and jealous when your guy drools over Megan Fox.
It’s biological: during days 12 through 21, women are super-catty when it comes to judging the appearances of other women. “Evolutionarily speaking, when fertile women compete for a mate, criticising other females may help catch him,” says psychologist Dr Maryanne Fisher. Tune out other women by holing up together with takeaways and a bottle of wine.
Day 17: Have Solo Sex
In order to combat the dip in oestrogen and testosterone and the accompanying rise in progesterone, you’ll need to take matters into your own hands. Your clitoris and nipples may be less sensitive now, and orgasms are weaker and slower to occur.
Day 18: Cuddle Up
Warning: although testosterone starts to rise again today, a boost in progesterone still has you feeling more cuddly than carnal, so turn off your laptop, snuggle down with your guy and rent a chick flick. Girlie movies raise levels of oxytocin (the bonding hormone) in both men and women. And research has found that guys like rom-coms too (shh!).
Day 19 and 20: Take a Break
“For these two days, your urge to nest and unwind may be stronger because progesterone levels jump, dampening your desire to socialise,” Lichterman says. Why is progesterone such a downer? According to Lichterman, it drains your energy, lowering the risk that you’ll go out and damage your uterus in case fertilisation has occurred. Relive the early days – stay up all night talking and then stay in bed all day.
Day 21: Cook a Romantic Meal for Him
“Food and sex go hand in hand – they are both sensual delights that activate our pleasure sensors,” says McIntosh. What’s more, progesterone has caused an appetite spike, making you crave baked goods, salty treats, fats and carbs.
The reason: your hormones want your body to be baby-ready in case you got preggers during ovulation (women need a certain amount of fat for optimal fertility). So why fight nature? Put the best of both worlds together tonight and whip up a candlelit comfort meal for two.
Day 22: Crack Open Your Toy Box
You may have to work a little harder to orgasm today because progesterone is blocking your testosterone receptors. So try novelty to stimulate yourself, says Wasserman. “Make pleasure, exploration and curiosity your goal rather than orgasms. This is when sex toys really come into their own. When a woman’s libido is low, a sex toy is an easy way to remind her of her sexuality – it’s a guaranteed reward for the PMS woman. And the orgasm will elevate her mood, which is needed at this time of the month.”
Day 23 to 24: Set the Mood
That inevitable time of moderate misery has come: PMS. Declining levels of progesterone and oestrogen from days 23 to 28 can make you weepy – or bitchy. If you’re not feeling psyched about your body right now (bloat can do that to a girl), wear your hottest lingerie and dim the lights – do whatever it takes to make you feel sexy.
Just don’t get a bikini wax. Researchers at the University of Michigan found that women are extra sensitive to pain at this time of the month. The good news is that during sex men focus on a woman’s face more than her body – meaning he won’t notice that you’re retaining two kilo’s worth of water.
Day 25: Focus on Your O
Chances are, you’re feeling frisky. “One reason is that your endometrium (the lining of the uterus) is thickening, promoting blood flow to your genitals, which creates extra lubrication and vaso-congestion that’s like an itch that really needs to be scratched,” says Wasserman.
Although your orgasms should be intense, it may take longer than usual to get there because a decline in oestrogen and testosterone will leave you easily distracted by your surroundings. Try a little dirty talk to stay in the moment and make sure the door is locked – scientists from McGill University in Canada found that when women nix outside distractions they become aroused in 12 minutes flat.
Days 26 to 28: Conquer New Territory
Your boobs may ache (tell your guy hands off today), but your endometrium continues to thicken, stimulating your nerve endings down below, which increases your libido significantly, according to Lichterman. Since creativity is at an all-time high, it’s the perfect time to discover new erogenous zones. Experiment with various types of touch on your favourite body parts.