Should You Go Through Your S.O.’s Phone? A Flow Chart

Women's Health |

By Macaela Mackenzie, photography by Pexels

We’re going to make the decision a little easier on you.

No matter how much you trust your partner, seeing an unlocked phone or open Facebook page is tempting as hell. And, as it turns out, giving into the urge to snoop isn’t necessarily a no-no, says Dr Ian Kerner, a relationship therapist in New York.

“I work with many patients who have checked through their significant other’s texts, email, or social media accounts and on many occasions have found things that are really cause for concern, like boundary issues, emotional cheating, or sexual cheating,” Kerner says. “In many of those cases, my clients felt relieved to know that they’re not crazy and that snooping led to productive conversations and sometimes even therapy that strengthens the relationship.”

READ MORE: I Cheated – Should I Tell My Partner

Just proceed with caution, says Kerner — snooping is a trust violation. “If you really feel a compelling need to snoop and you feel that’s the only way you’re going to get the information that you need, you should follow your instincts,” he says.

To snoop or not to snoop? Follow this handy flow chart to find out whether it’s worth it or not.


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