I’m not a lesbian. I might have gone to an all-girls school, but it wasn’t quite the endless girl-on-girl thigh stroking of schoolboy fantasies. Instead we spent most of our time figuring out a strategy for getting the first team rugby players to notice us.
Still, despite being heterosexual, I kissed a girl for the first time when I was 18. I was visiting Suzan* at Oxford where she was studying, and one Friday night after a lot of drinking we got a little flirty and found ourselves in a bathroom together.
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Suddenly we were kissing – I can’t remember who started it – but we were a feverish frenzy of limbs, hair and locking lips. It was my first and last experience with a woman, until I met Abi*.
Meeting Abi Changed Everything
We were at a friend’s party and I was immediately drawn to her. Pretty and fun, she was the type of person everyone wanted to be near. She had a sense of abandon about her, which was very appealing; she could transform a dull evening into a sensational one just by focusing her attention on you. Her incandescence was powerful and deeply sexy. I can’t explain why I suddenly desired a woman, but on that first night I met her, I knew I wanted her.
As the party continued around us, I manoeuvred her into the kitchen. Someone had switched off the lights and, as I leant over to put a vodka bottle down on the counter, I kissed her. Her smell was familiar and her lips soft – unlike anything I had ever felt before.
She swung me around, lifted me up on the counter, wedged her knee between my legs and started to grind herself into me, all the while kissing me like the world was ending. The feeling of recklessness and mystery turned me on more than I have ever been in my life. That night was the start of a year-long affair.
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Discovering The Mechanics Of Lesbian Sex
I had no idea of the mechanics of the sexual act itself. I don’t watch porn and had never really imagined girl-on-girl sex before, so the greatest surprise was the toughness of it.
Although there is no penis involved, there’s still a lot of penetration – with fingers and tongue; and, of course, it’s a fact: women know more about these techniques than most men. When things get heated – and inevitably they do – two women will bump and grind not unlike heterosexual sex.
One partner may take on the power role, thrusting as a man would. This is where a dildo sometimes comes into play – a strap-on is ideal in order to stay in place. Even better is a double dildo, which links the partners to each other and makes the feeling of being inside each other authentic: an incredibly powerful sensation.
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The Emotional Side Of Female Pleasure
There is the physical side, of course, but lesbian sex is emotional above all. I would feel a concentration of energy in my pubic area that flowed outwards, connecting me to Abi.
If we touched physically while in the “scissor” position, for example – not just the pubic mound but inside the vagina – the likelihood for a universe-shaking orgasm was high. Again and again and again.
When Our Affair Came To An End
As it happened, my relationship with Abi ended after a year. While I was surprised, enchanted and happy to be with a woman, my body responds on a deep biological level to the smell, erection, strength and power of a man.
But I also realised that sex had changed for me. Men often think they need to be gentle, but sometimes I wanted to be shoved against a wall or surprised from behind, and Abi knew exactly how I wanted to be touched without me having to show her.
7 Lesbian Sex Positions To Try
Reverse Cowgirl
How To Do It: Sit on top of your partner who is wearing a strap on. Facing their feet, straddling them with a knee on either side of them. Then have your partner bend their legs or keep ‘em straight. Hold on tight to their knees or thighs and start moving up and down or grinding to find what feels good.
All Hands On Deck
How To Do It: One partner lies down, flat on their back. The other partner climbs on top, facing away from the first person. Your genitals should be lined up with your partner’s mouth and vice versa. The bottom partner can then use their hands to stimulate and stroke the other hot spots surrounding their partner’s nether regions (inner thighs, hips, or bum), finger them anally or digitally penetrate their vagina while orally pleasuring them.
Pro Tip: If both partners are strapped up, the partner with the longer phallus should be on the bottom as being on top during a 69 gives that person better range of motion.
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The Pretzel Dip
How To Do It: Begin by having one partner lie on their side, with their top knee drawn towards their chest and the bottom leg straight. Have the giving partner straddle their bottom leg, with one knee on each side of their thigh. From here, they can penetrate the first partner or just grind.
The Soft Serve
How To Do It: Get into the spooning position with the giving partner as the big spoon. The receiver brings their knees up slightly, as their partner enters from behind. This position provides the perfect angle for your partner’s strap-on to reach that front wall where your G-spot is. And you both have easy clit access, so use your hands or a vibe to have a clitoral orgasm.
Go Wide
How To Do It: Have the receiving partner sit down and lay their back against the end of the tub or shower wall, and spread their legs as wide as they can. (If you’re feeling flexible and secure enough, they can even prop their ankles on the edges of the tub.) Then, make sure the water is at a good angle, and get in there for some oral action.
Swinging 69
How To Do It: First, check the weight limit of your sex swing. Then, double-check that the swing is properly mounted. Assuming the weight limit exceeds that of your partner and you combined *and* the swing is secure, you can get down to business. One partner can get in the swing and the other can stand with their feet grounded on the floor. From here, the standing partner can bend over so they can perform oral sex on the partner in the swing, and vice versa.
Corkscrew
How To Do It: Rest on your hip and forearm on one side of the tub, shower shelf or bench. Press your thighs together. Have your partner who is strapped up stand behind you and enter, keeping your legs closed for a tighter hold as they thrust.
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