15 Women Get Real About Wedding Night Sex
I’ve always been convinced that if I get married, I will definitely NOT be doing the deed that night. If it all goes down the way I envision it, I’ll be partying and dancing so hard that I pass out—cake in-hand, still in my dress—with my partner asleep (hopefully) somewhere near me.
Apparently, this sexless fantasy of mine is not that far-fetched. According to a survey of 3,030 people conducted by The Vow, more than half (52 percent) said they didn’t get some on their wedding night. And for those who did consummate the marriage, 11 percent didn’t wait until they made it to bed that night. Instead, they took a break from the festivities and snuck off to knock boots before rejoining their guests (not a bad way to spend cocktail hour, tbh).
Of course, whatever you decide to do on your wedding night is your business. So no shame if you get it on, get some late-night fast food, or—if you’re really lucky—both.
‘We stumbled back to the bridal suite, and he promptly fell asleep.’
“After my wedding ended at midnight, we all headed to a nearby bar to keep the party going (and going). My husband and I ended up shutting the place down around 3 a.m., at which point we stumbled back to the bridal suite, and he promptly fell asleep. Still wide awake, I ended up popping a bottle of champagne left over from earlier that morning with a few family members who were having an after-after-party down the hall. No regrets.” —Jean*, 29
‘We snuck away for an unplanned (and super-hot) quickie.’
“My husband and I discovered that we had a private bathroom in the bridal suite at our wedding venue, so we snuck away during our reception for an unplanned (and super-hot) quickie. Later that night, we did it again in our hotel room, and it was one of the most romantic and special moments we’ve shared as a couple. I caught my husband staring at me, and when I asked him what he was doing, he said he wanted to remember what I looked like at that instance forever—yep, I melted. We capped off the night with a pizza party in one of my bridesmaid’s hotel rooms with a bunch of our friends.” —Lizzie*, 29
‘We did it! And it was definitely special.’
“We were exhausted, but we did it! It was definitely more special, but it’s hard to know if that was because the day had been so special—and we were so aware of how this was our first time having sex as husband and wife—or if there was actually something transformative about it.” —Gabrielle, 36
‘We made up for it during the honeymoon.’
“Our wedding reception ended around 11 p.m., so we headed to a nearby bar. About 50 other guests, friends, and family accompanied us. We drank and partied at the bar until closing time—around two a.m. The bar was walking distance to the cluster of hotels most of our guests were staying at, so we went to one of the hotel lobbies and ordered a bunch of pizzas for everyone. About an hour later I actually went to bed without my husband because he wanted to smoke cigars with his groomsmen. And honestly, I can’t complain because I immediately fell asleep and didn’t even hear him get in bed an hour later! Even though we didn’t have sex on our wedding night, we definitely made up for it on the honeymoon the following week.” —Megan, 25
‘I fell asleep in my lingerie which was convenient for the next morning.’
“My husband and I had a destination wedding. We thoroughly enjoyed our wedding, reception—and after party. We ended the night around four a.m. and made our way back to the decorated suite complete with rose petals, balloons, and a hot tub. I slipped on my wedding-night lingerie and made my way to the bed. Not sure if it was the alcohol, exhaustion, or sense of relief, but we ended up asleep within seconds. I awoke the next morning (conveniently still wearing the lingerie), and we consummated the marriage.” —Christine, 29
‘His parents ended up undressing him… I was mortified.’
“My husband and I both got way too drunk at our reception to drive back to our apartment so we asked my new in-laws to drive us. My husband passed out HARD in the back seat and I couldn’t wake him up, so his parents had to carry him inside and I walked in behind them.
They went into our bedroom and started undressing my husband like he was a little kid. Mortified, I asked them to leave assuring them I could handle it. They ignored me and tucked him in before leaving. We did not have sex that night.” —Natalie, 24
‘It all ended with burgers and fries.’
“We arrived back at our hotel at one a.m. after a memorable night with our friends and family. My dress was heavy, my feet were blistered, but we were both still riding high on the evening. I locked eyes with my husband, and we both knew what we would do next: order burgers and fries from room service and recount the weird and wonderful stories of the evening. To this day, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” —Francis*, 29
‘A drunken parade in the hotel hallway is my last memory.’
“My husband and I were married in a NYC bar with 50 of our closest friends and immediate family members, and there was a whole lot of champagne that night! At the end of the celebration, a handful of our best friends walked us to our hotel room. We were like a crazy drunken parade coming down the hallway, which is the last thing I remember! They left us at the room, and we woke up sometime the next morning having passed out in our wedding clothes. Score one for the no-sex on the wedding night team!” —Kerri, 43
‘There was no sex in sight, and it was totally worth it.’
“My partner threw me a surprise destination wedding in Austin, Texas. They coordinated with all of my friends and managed to get me on a plane with no idea of what was to come. They even remembered that I wanted to be married in my cowboy boots and had a friend smuggle them to Texas. We got married surrounded by queer family on queer land, with a pool and a hot tub. Like any good wedding, it ended with the guests and wedding party stripping down to their skivvies and jumping in the pool and hot tub. Needless to say, by the time we tucked into our marital yurt, the night had turned to day—and there was no sex in sight. But I was left with the knowledge that I was profoundly seen and loved by my spouse and family. So, #perfect.” –Beatrice, 43
‘It wasn’t in my preferred position and I didn’t orgasm, but I wanted to consummate it.’
“I had sex with my husband on my wedding night. I am a pretty traditional girl, and I felt like it was necessary to consummate the union that night. Mind you, I had a lot to drink because the wedding party and a lot of my family went to the resort bar to keep the party going after the reception. After several rounds, we went to our room. My husband helped me out of my dress and veil, and we had sex in the bed (and not in my favourite position) and made it official. I didn’t orgasm because I was too drunk to. Then we took a shower and passed the F out after a huge, beautiful, overwhelming, and life-changing day. We made a lot of love on our honeymoon to make up for the wedding night!” —Sally*, 37
‘We barely made it to our brunch the next morning.’
“After not sleeping the night before our wedding, and running purely off of adrenaline, we ended our night at one a.m. (to some of our guests’s disappointment). When we got back to our hotel room, my spouse crashed but I was unexpectedly horny. So, I woke him up, and we made it happen. Afterward, we both slept like babies, barely making it out in time for our brunch the next morning.” —Cat, 24
‘It was certainly not the best we’ve ever had.’
“Word to the wise: book your honeymoon suite close to the wedding. We got married close to home, but booked our stay at the fanciest hotel downtown. As our party ended and we were exhausted, we then had a 30-minute drive before we arrived to the hotel. Needless to say, we slept most of the way and were bleary-eyed as we checked into our room.
Determined to have wedding night sex, we eventually mustered the energy, but it certainly wasn’t the best we’ve had. My husband still had most of his clothes on and I don’t think I took off my nippies. When we woke up, hungover and exhausted, we had to make the 30-minute trek back for brunch the next day. I loved everything about our wedding, but if we had to do it again, I would have stayed at the closest hotel to the venue!” —Eve, 32
‘All we were dreaming of was sleeping.’
“I didn’t have a wedding night sex! We were both simply too tired. Our wedding started at two p.m. on Saturday and ended up at six a.m. the following day. After the entire night of dancing, singing and having fun, all we were dreaming of was sleeping.” —Karolina, 28
‘I was so tired, I worried I’d drown in the bathtub.’
“We organised the whole wedding in six weeks in another state and had to pull in support from everyone we could. It turned out to be a wonderful event, that was also incredibly exhausting. By the time we got to the hotel, I was so tired I was honestly worried I would drown in the bathtub. I’ve always felt a little cheated that I was too tired to have sex that night. Then, we got up to catch an insanely early flight for our honeymoon. In hindsight, we didn’t plan well for any after wedding romance.” —Lauren, 49
‘We definitely tried to…’
“We tried! It was a long day! We ended up partying at our afterparty and headed straight to the hotel. I woke up with him lying on me fully clothed, so I know we attempted to. We flew to our honeymoon in Mexico and ended up sleeping for a full 18 hours our first honeymoon day. Weddings and wedding planning are stressful. We didn’t consummate our marriage until the next morning!” —Winnie, 31
*Some names have been changed.
This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com