4 Common Sex Dreams — And Exactly What They Mean
Sleeping next to your man while having subconscious nooky with someone else? Awkward. But racy carnal reveries help turn your waking lust life into, literally, the sex of your dreams…
With Your Guy
What it means: If your sleepy-time sexcapades feature your partner (49 percent of Women’s Health readers’ dreams do, according to an online poll), it’s usually an indicator that your relationship is super-strong. It can also be a sign that you’re becoming more aware of some quality in your partner.
For example, if you dream that your guy is being very dominant (and taking you on a desk in the corner office), it suggests that having your guy in a position of power – making strong, confident decisions – turns you on, says Ian Wallace, a dream psychologist and author of The Complete A To Z Dictionary of Dreams: Be Your Own Dream Expert.
But, if you’re having issues (especially sexual ones), these may pop up in your dreams too, explains sleep and dream expert Dr Angel Morgan. As in, you wake up just as the sex is heating up, indicating that you may be holding back from fully expressing yourself with him.
From dream to reality: Divulge the sultry details of your dream to your guy in a kind of verbal foreplay. It can make the next time you get naked more erotic than it’s ever been – and potentially fix any problems you’ve been having. “Tell him you had a wild dream about him as you kiss him goodbye, then SMS him a reminder during the day,” says Dr Jessica O’Reilly, author of The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love.
Oh, and feel free to embellish. “This is the perfect opportunity to bring up things you’d like to try,” says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Mention that he used a vibrator on you and plant an idea for tonight’s action.
With An Ex
What it means: It doesn’t necessarily indicate that you miss him or wish your current partner were more like him. Surprisingly, this dream is all about you. “It usually means that your ex has some trait or quality that you’re challenged to own in yourself,” says Wallace.
For instance, if you dream that you got it on at the airport (which can represent a desire to get a plan off the ground), then your ex’s presence may signal that you’d like to inherit his go-getter attitude to finish a task.
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From dream to reality: All right, let’s be real here: regardless of what the dream means, this re-emergence of your ex probably brought back some fond memories of his unique sexual skills. So why not take advantage of them?
Don’t regale your current partner with a play-by-play of your steamy dream (bad idea!). Instead, show him exactly which moves you liked, suggests O’Reilly. Loved how creative your ex was during oral play? Loan your guy one of your toys and let him work magic with both tongue and vibrator. Or add some hand play by guiding his fingers exactly where you want them.
With A Female Friend
What it means: If you’re straight, you really don’t need to start questioning your sexuality. Hooking up with another woman likely represents a feminine side of yourself – like your caring or nurturing abilities – that you’re coming to terms with.
Say a high-flying executive dreams she’s having sex with a woman. It could mean that she needs to tune in and be more sensitive to the people she works with. It could also signal that you’re looking for more of an emotional connection in your love life.
From dream to reality: Work on making sex more of a prolonged and sensual experience in which you can watch your guy enjoy your feminine assets. “Slow everything down and don’t rush,” says Morse. “Explain, for example, that you’d like him to slowly undress you.” And don’t forget eye contact. “Staring into each other’s eyes can make you feel more connected.”
With A Celeb
What it means: On the surface, it could just be that you’re crazy-attracted to this particular person – and wondering what it would be like to sleep with him. More often than not, though, it can symbolise a craving for attention, either socially or from your partner, says Morgan. Oddly enough, she says, it could also be a positive side effect from engaging in more me-time. Why wouldn’t Jared Leto want to sex you up when you feel as great as you do these days?
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From dream to reality: Channel the excitement that comes with having a sexy star in your bed into a little role-playing fun. “It can be the antidote to boredom in the bedroom,” says O’Reilly. But rather than resort to mainstream ideas (like being his French maid), engage in your real fantasies, like you’re the burlesque dancer he just watched on stage, or you’re Jane to his Tarzan, says O’Reilly. Just make sure to establish a safe word in case the scene gets a bit too real.