Is It True That The Less You Have Sex, The Less You Actually Want It?

"Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?" —The Forty-Year-Old Virgin

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Having lots and lots of sex is like that Pringles advert: Once you pop, the fun doesn’t stop. Meanwhile, going through a dry spell might be agonising at first, but eventually, you completely stop thinking about sex  or wanting it. Even Magic Mike has lost his power over you. And while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, we couldn’t help but wonder why, exactly, you lose it when you don’t use it.

READ MORE: 8 Reasons Why You Never Want To Have Sex Anymore

Biologically speaking, regular sex boosts your blood flow down below, leading to increased lubrication (a sign you’re ready to rock), says Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. Plus, feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins are released during sex, which tap into the pleasure centre of the brain and leave you craving more.

So pumping the breaks on sex also puts a halt to desire and arousal, she says. Mystery solved, right?

But wait, there’s more. Not thinking about sex on the reg might also mean you’re focusing on stressors and pressures (you know, like deadlines, debt, work, or kids), all of which are serious lady boner killers, says Orbuch.

READ MORE: These Libido-Boosting Foods Amp Up Blood Flow Where It Counts *Wink*

So here’s some advice you’ve heard before, because you probably need a reminder anyway: Just do it. Allowing someone to get close to you can put you in the mood, even if you feel pretty ‘meh’ leading up to it. Another easy fix: “Small changes in a relationship can re-spark sexuality along with the passion,” says Orbuch.

So trying something new, like taking a workout class together or testing out a new restaurant, could pull you out of the drought.#MakeItRain

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