What Is Pegging And How Do You Actually Make It Feel Good?

Grab. The. Lube.


Elizabeth Bacharach |

When it comes to the wonderful world of butt stuff, a few popular practices have been hogging the spotlight (think: rim job, anal fingering). But tbh, it’s time to push these bad boys aside and give some much-deserved attention to a gender-norm-breaking, butt-boning, not-so-little act called pegging.

Sound familiar? Maybe you caught the quick reference in Deadpool or saw that infamous Broad City episode where Abbi Jacobson tries it out first-hand. Nope and nope? Don’t worry, I gotchu, girl. For all those that might’ve missed such cultural moments (*raises hand*), let’s begin with the basics…

BUY NOW

Bad Kitty 3-Piece Strap-On Set

R 1 399

BUY NOW

So, what exactly is pegging?

Pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates her partner anally. Simple as that.

Of course, everyone and anyone is welcome to suit up with a strap-on, but the term pegging in particular usually refers to a male (penis-bearing person) being penetrated by a female (vagina-bearing person).

As such, pegging violates traditional gender scripts in which the woman is generally assumed to be the receiving partner, while the man is the inserting partner, explains Prof Kimberly McBride, associate professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, who’s extensively researched anal sex. And it’s this “flipping the script” situation that entices many peggin’ partners, who might find breaking social norms erotic, per McBride.

READ MORE: 4 Great Lubricants For Every Possible Sexy Scenario

Bottom line? Breaking taboo can be — and for many, is — sexy. But that’s not the only reason people are into this backdoor act.

For men, it’s all about the prostate. When inserted into his anus, the dildo has the power to reach and massage this walnut-sized gland that sits between the base of a guy’s penis and rectum. The prostate is a super-charged erogenous zone, a.k.a. “the male G-spot.” As with anal play in general, pegging can also stimulate the many erotic nerve endings in the anus and rectum. The result? An eruption of different orgasms that, per McBride, can be perceived as more intense. Wowza.

And the benefits don’t stop there. For many women, the dildo experience can be incredibly pleasurable as well, thanks to the continuous clitoral stimulation that happens during penetration and thrusting (between the base of the dildo and the vulva), says Dr Joe Kort, a certified sex therapist.

Plus, as is true with any and all sexual acts, your mind plays a big role in your ability to climax. In the case of pegging, many women get aroused by the idea and act of being dominant as well as “feeling alpha over the male while penetrating,” Kort explains.

So now that you’re up to speed on all things pegging and its powerful pleasure, are you ready to strap on and get started? Here’s everything you need to know before you and your partner start poking around (yes… pun intended):

1. First and foremost: Talk it out.

Sexy time is all fun and games until someone surprisingly shows up harness-clad and ready to bang their partner’s butt. So, as with any sexual behaviour, communication and consent — for both the pegger and peggee — are key.

Unfortunately, there’s not a universal, one-size-fits-all way to approach the topic of pegging. How you bring up the convo really depends on the couple and your usual dynamic around bedroom activities.

If you’re unsure of how your partner might respond, “introduce the idea by speaking hypothetically and using your partner’s response to gauge their interest. For example, you might say that you were talking to a “friend” or that you saw an article on the topic,” McBride says.

2. Know that your partner might nix the idea.

And if so, that’s totally okay. But that doesn’t mean the talking stops there. “There needs to be many conversations about how the couple can get closer to what one another wants,” per Kort.

This means chatting about different ways to simulate anal sex without, say, penetration, such as grinding against one another or watching pegging porn together while getting frisky. “There are many ways to get closer to what a partner wants without actually doing it,” Kort says.

That being said, it’s just as important to respect your partner’s sexual boundaries. If they’re truly uninterested, don’t push them. There’s always the possibility of reintroducing the topic another time down the road, McBride explains.

READ MORE: Why You Should Try Anal Fingering Before Having Anal Sex

3. Screw the stereotypes.

Once upon a time, our society decided that anal sex automatically means “gay sex,” but that is not always the case — something that both Kort and McBride highlight, underline and emphasise. “Anal sex is not about sexual orientation,” Kort says. “It’s about sexual pleasure.”

Let go of any notions about your or your partner’s sexuality that might pop into your head and get in the way of both of you having a good time. If your worries really weigh on you — or trace back to other situations that have made you feel similarly — then you may want to have a larger conversation with your partner about how they’re feeling in the bedroom (and relationship).

4. Take baby steps.

Because the tissue in the anus and rectum are more fragile than genital tissue and can be easily damaged (think: tearing) during penetration, maintain an open dialogue before and during sex to make sure both parties are comfortable (physically and otherwise).

It’s also a good idea to try to relax and ease into this new sexual act prior to pegging, in order to avoid any trauma and ensure pleasure, says McBride. Her advice? Start out with oral or manual stimulation, then move on to penetration with a finger or smaller object (like a small butt plug) to best acclimate your partner to the sensations and help them learn to relax the muscles in that area.

That being said, if your partner is a total anal-play newbie, consider practicing other acts before even beginning the pegging experiment, to avoid causing any tears or damage.

READ MORE: What’s A Prostate Orgasm – And How Do I Make It Happen For A Guy?

5. Clean, clean, clean.

Sorry to remind you, but your butt sees a lot of, err, crap. So if you’re on the receiving end, you might want to take care of your business before things start to heat up. Yes, that means you should try to poop prior to pegging.

Once you’ve done your business, hop in the shower to wash your tush (and anus) gently with warm water and soap. Steer clear of any cleansers that are too astringent “because that can actually draw moisture away from the anus and make the tissue more prone to contracting STIs,” McBride previously told Women’s Health.

Just as important? Washing your pegging crew — your toys — with a toy cleaner or sudsy mixture of warm water and mild soap, per McBride. Pro tip: Cover your dildo in a condom to make post-sex clean-up easier.

6. Come prepared with the right toys.

Your pegging tool kit should include a variety of goods: a dildo, strap-on and lots of lube. If you’re the one suiting up, pick a strap-on that makes you feel comfortable and aroused. As a rule of thumb, the harness should fit snuggly without moving around too much to fully enjoy the experience.

Beyond that, when shopping for a dildo, McBride recommends being wary of toys made of potentially porous materials (like the trendy crystal dildo), as they are more difficult to clean and thus can harbour bacteria.

Oh, and P.S. If your partner is new to butt stuff, opt for a shorter, thinner dildo with a curved design intended to reach the prostate.

READ MORE: 10 Things You Need To Know Before Trying Anal For The First Time

7. Lube up.

“Lube is a must for any anal behaviour,” because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, McBride says. (Hopefully, if you’re reading this article, you know this by now.) If you’re wrapping your toy in a latex condom or are the proud owner of a silicone dildo, opt for a water-based lube, which, unlike silicone and oil-based options, won’t cause erosion or breakage.

Otherwise, silicone, oil-water hybrids and oil-based lubes are good go-tos, as they tend to be thicker and stay in place longer — both of which are wins when you’re playing in a tight area like such. Go ahead and layer on that lube… then feel free to peg away.

This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com

Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.

READ MORE ON: Sex Sex Tips