“I Put On A Fitbit — Here’s Why My Life Will NEVER Be The Same Again”
By Danielle Weakley; Image from Instagram/Fitbit
Be careful what you wish for: The curse of the Fitbit is real…
The day everything changed…
They’re sneaky, those bastards that award your Discovery Vitality points. They lure you in with the idea of free coffee or a smoothie. And in the beginning you poo-poo this notion. You think you are above training for reward, like a dog in Pavlov’s laboratory. You stand in your regular coffee queue and you don’t whip out your phone for a code scan. No, you simply do your gym and you order your mucho meia like a smug, normal person. But one fine day that all changes…
I don’t know how it changes or why it even dared changing, but change it does. And now I am obsessed with my points-and-rewards. When the log-in at my regular exercise studio isn’t working I have to actively try and be a grown-up about it, instead of emailing the manger to ask if she can manually capture my workout. Yes, really. It’s a problem.
Flirting with the Fitbit
I used to watch people who sported fitness trackers like David Attenborough would have scoped out animals in the wild — with fascination and a running commentary. And then after one lacklustre points week, I fell off the edge of the cliff and I opted to wear A Device… Just, you know, so I could see. Ja, right.
Now, I can’t do anything without double tapping my arm like a woodpecker. Take the stairs. Check wrist. Walk to lunch. Check wrist. Do Bikram. Check wrist. Go to bed. Check wrist. Wake up. Check bloody wrist. I roll my eyes at how ridiculous I’m being almost as much as I surreptitiously try and snatch a glance at my — you guessed it —wrist.
Number-checking and nama-slaying
Buuuut here’s what I’ve learnt (and purists amongst you will say I knew this all along… To that I say, whatever): Bikram gets my heart rate going for longer than power flow yoga, but power is way higher than vinyasa, which in turn, is more than suspension. So, there’s my yoga schedule in a nutshell. Nama-slaying over here.
My resting heart rate, on average, is around the 70 bpm mark. And… And… I spend more time awake during the night that I ever would have imagined… Although I blame the Fitbit for this because the moment I roll over and sorta wake up, my first hazy thought is: “Shit, am I awake? Does this mean I’m now in the red zone? Having my minutes counted?” Cue: wide awake. Did I mention I am on Day Four. Day Four as a user, people. Will I make a full week to scan my Vida code?